Sample chapter from Book of Secrets
(This chapter is the prequel to A Writer's Year, written in 2008)
I’ve just returned from a nine-month stint living alone beside a lake. Spending so much time in the wild reaffirmed my love of isolation, but it made me yearn to be home. I realised that while I’ve been indulging my escapist dreams, I’ve been hiding from my problems. I had to come home and, with Mrs H holding my hand for support, confront the world.
I wrote on the back of my last notebook at the lake: “It’s better to run towards something good, than away from something bad”. I knew, deep down, that I’d been running since my bank manager and so-called friends crushed my dreams of a simple life in 1998. It was time for me to stop running. The best way for me to do this, I concluded, was to run towards the thing I most desired but most feared: being a successful full-time writer.
I’ve worked as a corporate copywriter for years. Writing on behalf of others now seems like a cowardly way of writing. I need to speak out as me and be known for being something more than a corporate wordsmith. I’ve therefore decided to write professionally under my name (the herb-based pen name of my choosing), ultimately to make my sole living from it. Writing copy on behalf of organisations or individuals is no longer good enough. I need my voice to be heard, sharing my message, on my terms. That’s the journey I’m going to take from this year onward. It’s my new path, my new mission, my new calling. I will be known for encouraging others to ‘Stop – Unplug – Escape – Enjoy’, to explore the countryside and their inner thoughts so that they may see and appreciate the world in new ways. Everything henceforth will support this goal. I will become a successful writer. And about bloomin’ time, too.
My decision is timely. I’ve received a letter today from my old friend Mike ‘Prof’ Winter. It says: “Publish a book before you’re too old to read it without glasses”. I know what he means and sense the frustration in his words. I am, after all, the person he once described as being the most naturally gifted writer he’d ever met. (In 1998 he’d seen me - in a hyper-focused flow state - write, edit, proofread and finalise 6,000 words of my Wild Carp book in just four hours.) He’d received my handwritten ‘journal’ from its beginnings in 1996 and always replied with encouragement for me to keep writing.
As a schoolteacher and journalist, Prof has a gift of knowing how to nurture a talent and share a story. He’s rightly frustrated by my insistence on keeping my work to just a small circle of friends. But I’ve been unready to have my work scrutinised by those I don’t know. Too shy and modest, for sure, but mostly too scared. Prof is the person who, more than anyone else, has encouraged me to keep writing regardless of what others – or even myself – might think of the output. “You’re a perfectionist, Fennel,” he’d say. “Your writing will never be good enough for you; but it’s plenty good enough for the rest of us. So put it in front of Editors and publishers. Get your work in print!”
This year will be when my focus and confidence as a writer will change for the better. I’m going to champion the writer’s craft and start building a body of work for publication. One day I will make my living from creative writing. ‘Success’ to me, however, is not just commercial: it’s about reaching out and connecting with a reader in a way that has lasting and meaningful impact. One’s writing, after all, is a legacy that provides a snapshot of our world for those who inherit it from us. But if the writing’s strong enough, it might also enhance the lives of others today.
What will be my legacy? That I’m a rural lifestyle author, the one who writes openly about the beauty of the countryside and its abilities to help us escape from the pressures and challenges of life. I’m on a journey, building a brighter future that’s inspired by the past, attempting to encourage others to get outdoors and follow their dreams. (If a shy, burned out, penniless, traumatised depressive such as me can do it, then so can anyone who has a glimmer of hope in their heart and fresh air in their lungs.) But that’s the big picture. What about the role that writing plays within the story?
Writing is a way to speak without speaking; to connect without meeting; to relate upon the page and bond between the covers. It’s an act of love that enables the writer to reach out into the world, permanently.
Words have the power to transform people. I was taught at marketing school that writing is a form of communication; that it seeks to do one or more of six things: inspire, inform, educate, entertain, influence, or persuade the reader. Its purpose, so my textbooks said, is to get the reader to take action. For me, my hope is that you will see the world differently after reading my books. Hopefully you’ll then engage with your surroundings in new or better ways. Maybe, if I don’t change or enhance your perspective or understanding, I’ll reinforce your beliefs. Or I might simply annoy you. If you don’t like my work, then that’s fine. It’s not for you, so you can move on. What’s for me to fear? Merely the risk of not sharing my work or having nothing to say. As a BBC journalist advised me: “Don’t overthink it. Just be friendly, have a game plan, and want to say stuff”. So I needn’t be shy. I just need to write and share my work in ways that inspire you. How will I do this? I’ll attempt to make the connections that others can’t see. I’ll find the angle: the different perspective, the unexpected view, the truth, the humour, and the revelation. I’ll reveal, enlighten, inform. I’ll entertain the idea until it inspires you and me. If I say things how I see them, and speak clearly, then my message will be heard. Or will it?
Finding my voice as a writer is only half of the challenge. Enabling people to discover it, to hear what I’m saying, will be the other half. Why? Because it’s a noisy world out there. I’ll need to find ways to differentiate myself and be heard, moving out from under the cloud of internal restrictions and preconceived ideas to find new ways of engaging my readers. Whilst books are the traditional medium, audio and video media enable easier and quicker processing of information. As a writer, should I really be locked away, writing onto a notebook or typing onto a computer keyboard? Oughtn’t I be speaking my words into a camera or microphone instead? Probably. But I love writing. It’s what I’m best at doing and what I most want to do. It’s my terms of engagement, for now. I know that the best game plan is to ‘do what you do’ better than everyone else, executing in ways that have the biggest impact so that one’s words register and resonate with people who recognise them as ‘their thing’ too. As a writer or promoter of words, one must learn the game, play the game, and then change the game. That’s the mark of a leader rather than a follower. But it’s not just about ‘how’ one delivers, because people remember the message more so than the medium. It’s the message that breaks through the noise. As was taught to me by my marketing professor: “One should always have a clear message. Why? Because confused people rarely take action”. My message? It’s simple: ‘Stop – Unplug – Escape – Enjoy’. But this might prove complex if a broad audience interprets it in different ways.
The more complex one’s message, the greater the need for human interaction. So if anything’s going to hold me back, it’s shyness and my insistence on penning rather than speaking my words to a room-full of people. Hiding away in my study will limit my chances of success. Eventually I’ll have to get out there and meet prospective and current readers, living up to their expectations and being congruent with my message. Not much to ask of me, then? Just a Promise that must be delivered and consistently adhered to, else my brand will be ruined. Fine when talking about my worldview, and me but harder when reporting other things. “Trust me, I’m a journalist.” How’s that for an oxymoron? Better to state that I’m a non-fiction writer who sometimes prevents the truth from getting in the way of a good story. Hmmm. I think I’ll be having words with myself about that one. Integrity as a writer is everything. My words must always speak the truth, even if they occasionally stray into the realms of fiction. (They’re there, laid out in black and white. If you want to interpret them differently, then that’s fine. The grey is in the blending of ideas to form something new, which will be the case in every reader’s mind. I hope you understand?)
The burden of reasoning, it is said, should be on the author and not the reader. If you have to stop and figure out my message, then I’ve failed. I should therefore write for you, engaging with you on your terms. The question is: do you want to read my message, or would you prefer to listen to it, watch me deliver it on film, or engage with me in two-way communication, perhaps face-to-face or over the telephone? Is my being a writer enough? Will I have to do more than put words on a page? Oh, it’s so challenging. Breathe, Fennel. Word at a time. The rest will follow.
Who is my intended audience? It is those who seek a quiet, meaningful, rural life. Their heart is telling them to slow up, to seek out something different, to appreciate more, to recover, to savour a slow-paced and more cherished lifestyle where they have the time, space and energy to do and enjoy the things that inspire them. If they’re like me, they’ll be seeking a simple life, an outdoor life, a traditional life defined by old-fashioned customs, handcrafted things, and seasonal living. They’ll be seeking things that cost nothing but which have the greatest value. They’ll know that modern life is moving too fast and that industrialisation is polluting and destroying the natural world. They’ll care for the environment and seek an organic life connected to the earth, which nourishes us and the soil rather than poisoning our world. They’ll want to have fun, knowing that some things can get too serious for their own good. They’ll be proud of their idiosyncrasies and eccentricities. Fiercely individual, they’ll buck trends and be the person they want to be. They – indeed you – may have all these things and connect immediately with my vision and message, or they may feel that they need these things but don’t know how to get them? If my words can help, then they’ll help.
Success is not a destination, but it fuels one’s journey. It pays to acknowledge and value the minutiae of success. These mini-successes remind us that we’re always moving forward, even if it sometimes feels like we’re stationary or moving backwards. That’s why I love writing. Each word is penned to support my goal: to inspire, inform or entertain you. Each page adds to the strata of legacy. From the pure challenge of ‘nothing’ that comes from conquering the blank page, to the satisfaction of publishing one’s work for the benefit of others, writing is the essential act that encourages me – and hopefully you – to live a meaningful life. It’s the importance of today, captured in words, that commits to and secures our tomorrows. It’s when the message prevails and the writing remains; when a writer’s year becomes a lifetime.